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Tue, Jan 29, 2008 9:45 AM
Lately we've been working with Katie on some inappropriate "humor."

Incident #1
At pick-up one day last week, one of the teachers reminded Katie that she needed to pick up the play area before going home. Katie made this faux-defiant face, crossed her arms, and said "No!" The teacher persisted, telling her to put away five things. "Bree!" Katie negotiated back. "No, five," the teacher said." I think Katie ended up negotiating down to four things, and she eventually completed her obligation.

Now, I know darn well that Katie thought she was making a really funny joke. But she can't do stuff like that at school. So as soon as we stepped outside, I bent down and made her look me in the eyes. Before I could even say a word, her face started shaking and two giant tears swooshed silently down her cheek. (It was oddly reassuring to see that she knew she was wrong.)

"When your teachers ask you to do something, you do NOT tell them 'no,'" I said. "That is NOT ok, and it is NOT funny." More tears fell, and she sniffled a bit as she walked to the car. I let her think about it in silence during the five-minute ride to BJs. After that, I just reminded her that I still love her and Miss Meg does, too, etc.

Incident #2
On Saturday, I was working in the office while Steve and Katie were hanging out in the family room. All of a sudden, I heard Steve say, "Katie, no! You can't DO that! I'm serious!" I didn't go in right away, but later I asked him about it.

Katie had been wearing just a shirt and her underpants. Apparently she thought it would be comical if she pulled down her panties and made a toot noise with her mouth--all while sticking her bare rear end in his FACE. Katie was in the room as he was silently demonstrating what she did. He and I were both stifling laughter, and wondering where she comes up with this stuff. We definitely do NOT do that. I swear.

Incident #3
Katie and I went to visit Grandma Renee on Sunday. Katie was generally well behaved, but then decided to show off a bit when I made her do something she didn't want to do, or wouldn't let her do something she did want to do. I can't even remember what it was, but I do remember her wagging her finger in my face and saying with a subversive grin, "Lure not a nice lady! Lure a mean lady!" This time, I just told Katie, "Yeah, well, maybe sometime you'll see what a really mean lady is like, and you won't think I'm so bad."

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Tue, Jan 22, 2008 9:30 PM
Tonight was the last class of the fall session at The Little Gym. And since Katie is no longer in a parent-child class, she had a closing "show." It was a HOOT. Steve and I were both concerned that she might choke with stage fright, but as usual, our concerns were off base.

With "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" playing on the sound system, a teacher announced the students. As each name was called, the student was supposed to run up to a wedge and demonstrate a forward roll (known as a "somersault" in my day!). Most of the kids did this in a very nice, orderly manner. One little girl sort of panicked and ran to her parents instead. And then there was Katie...who bolted SO fast that Steve didn't catch her on the video camera...and instead of a forward roll did something akin to a full-body slam on the wedge before bouncing back up and taking her place along the wall.

Soon after, the students demonstrated their warm-up routine, which consists of walking, then running, galloping, and skipping followed by monkey jumps and donkey kicks (precursors to cartwheels and handstands, respectively). Katie participated just fine, except for playing politics the whole time. As she zoomed around the circle, she kept stopping to joke around with Miss Christy (one of the teachers), and as it was time for the kicks, she would do one kick and then stop to ensure that Miss Wendy (another teacher) acknowledged her accomplishment.

Eventually, the kids were split into two groups to demonstrate various skills on the uneven bars, balance beam, and floor mat. Katie did pretty well in all of these; I wouldn't say she is the best gymnast in the class, but she holds her own.

Besides, she has her own agenda: While she was waiting for the next round of activities, Steve and I saw her bossing around Melinda (a classmate) on the mat... And then as the kiddos lined up for their medals, we spotted her styling her friend Rachel's bangs... And after the formal show was over, we watched her on the cubes "teaching" a girl who had come to watch a friend perform.

At any rate, Katie was so wound up with adrenaline that she didn't get to bed until after 9, and I was surprised she settled down even then.

Next week starts another semester of Little Gym--which means there are only 20 more weeks till the next "djow"!

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Mon, Jan 21, 2008 8:45 PM
The other night as Steve flipped through the channels, he paused on a station with some kind of thriller movie. A woman was shrieking and screaming. Katie hadn't been paying attention to the tube, but she stopped in her tracks at that sound.

"What djee doin'?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I guess she's scared of something."

She huffed indignantly and asked, "Well, where her DADDY?!"

(I'm not sure if Steve's chest could've puffed up any more than it did at that moment.)

* * *

For Christmas, Steve bought Katie a pair of Ugg boots. It was against my better judgment, because I really don't see the point in spending 100 bucks on shoes for someone who will get, at most, two or three months out of them. But he really wanted to do it, and so he did.

Trouble is, Katie doesn't express much interest in wearing them. In fact, she even made up a story about how her teachers have a RULE against this particular footwear: "Miss Tammy say 'No Ugg boots at goo'," she informed me numerous times. (When I finally asked Miss Tammy about it this morning, she told me there is no such rule.)

Tonight I hit on a different strategy: the Dee card.

"You know, Ugg boots are really fashionable," I said to Katie (she was sitting at her "banity" applying lip gloss; no joke). "The older girls wear them."

"Dee hab dem?" Katie asked, knowing full well that she does.

"Yep, Dee has Ugg boots," I said. "And she's VERY stylish."

Katie's eyes widened as she nodded and said, "Yeahhh, djee BERY dylitch."

From there, I got Katie to agree to wear her boots tomorrow to school. And since that will be the third time she's worn them in public, I will have slashed the per-use cost from $50 to $33. Such a bargain.

* * *

Lest you think Katie is all style and no substance...

At bedtime tonight, I noticed that the Post-It dispenser from the kitchen was on one of her nightstands. Next to it was one of the pens from my office.

"Katie," I said, "What is THIS doing up here?!"

She gave me a "Well, duh" look and said, "I need dat 'caitz I gotta do work!"

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Fri, Jan 18, 2008 11:00 PM
We got a decent amount of snow last night, and Katie was eager to play in it with her dad. She put on her coat without a fuss, but when I asked her to wear her hat and gloves, she protested and then explained why: "I don't need dat. I hab a HOOD. And POCKETS." Off she went into the cold. Five minutes later, she came back in for her gloves. And five minutes after that, she came back in asking for something, but it wasn't her hat. "Mommy, I need djew!" she called. "We need eyes bor Brosty!"

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Tue, Jan 15, 2008 2:15 PM
Yesterday while I was making dinner, Katie pulled both her pant legs up over her knees.

"Look at me, Mommy!" she said. "I did dis at goo. Atchley (Ashley) and Towi (Tori) did it, too!"

"Oh, really?" I said. "Who did it first?"

Katie smiled a mile wide as she raised her hand proudly, and then added, "And Atchley wad lapping and lapping at me!"

"Did the teachers laugh, too, or did they tell you to stop?"

"Dop," she replied, with a shrug.

About an hour later, Steve finally got home from his weeklong trip. When he came in, Katie ran to hug and kiss him, and said very earnestly, "We not dee djew bor a lonnng time!"

After we all ate, she started reading stories to Steve and me. She was the teacher; we were "da briends." She runs a tight ship, too.

When I glanced down at a magazine on my lap, she quickly reprimanded me: "Don't look at djour magadeen! I reading a bery good dory here, and if djew be a good li't'ner, I gibbing djew a bery nice dicker, okaaaaaay? Daddy being good li't'nr...deeeee?"

The question is, which role does she relish more: class clown or taskmaster?

* * *

Today Katie hits 3.5 on the nose. On the one hand, it's hard to believe she's been around that long already. On the other, she often seems more like 13 than 3, so I feel like she should be much older!

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Stacey: Happy half-birthday Katie! We can't wait to see you. Maddie loved her pretty postcard - she carried it around the house all evening.

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Fri, Jan 11, 2008 9:00 AM
Steve's been away on business for most of the week. Even though Katie knows where he is, she still asks me frequently. At bedtime last night, she asked again: "Where's Daddy?"

"He's in Miami," I replied. But Katie heard it as "my ammy," and confirmed by saying, "Oh, he in lure [your] ammy."

I started laughing so hard that I hope I didn't offend her!

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Sarah: My question is, what exactly does she think your

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Tue, Jan 8, 2008 9:30 PM
It's been really busy here, and I have fallen behind in updating this site. Before I forget them, I wanted to capture a few recent soundbites:

* At the grocery on Sunday, Katie handled the scanning and bagging of her two items. After that was done, the cashier started to hand a bag to me. I didn't see, but Katie must've given the cashier a look of shock and indignation. The cashier started laughing and said, "Oh, well, pardon me!" Then she handed Katie the bag, and Katie laughed and said, "Yeah! What's DAT all 'bout?!" The cashier and I (plus the guy in line behind us) were all cracking up.

* I had an early-morning meeting yesterday. So for the second time ever, Steve took Katie to school. I was concerned that she might give him a hard time, but apparently she saves that for me. Instead, she "helped" him through the whole process. He told me she even took pity on him with styling her hair. Although she originally chose a complicated hair tie, she ended up hanging him a plain elastic: "Here, Daddy. Dis be eadier."

* Tonight she and I went to Chik-Fil-A before her gym class. As we were walking in, she said, "I want chicken nuggets, brench bries, and choc'late milk. But NO KIDS' BAG!" I asked her why she didn't want the colorful one with a toy, and she replied, "I want da grown-up bag. 'Cause I'm a grown-up." (By the way, she still refuses to accept a kids' menu in a restaurant. She wants the "real menu.")

* During her bath tonight, she stopped washing for a moment and dramatically leaned over to me. "I hab just one more ding ta do," she said. "What?" I asked. Her reply: "Eat djew alllll gone!" Then she howled with laughter.

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Thu, Jan 3, 2008 8:30 AM
There have been intermittent problems with About My Baby's photo upload functionality. So if you've been seeing little exes instead of photos, it wasn't your computer. This morning I tried a workaround and the photos should now be there for your viewing pleasure.

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